I’ve
just realized that there are people out there who will stumbled upon
my writings and reads it. And i’m guessing there are people out there
who are blessed by reading it. Praise God! =) i’m moving my writing
entries to http://jecyrina.blogspot.com/ where i can archive what was posted in
http://jaysearena.blogs.friendster.com/a_part_of_me_which_i_want/
. So there! I have a new page! =)
Over
the weekend, i had a chance to spend time with my colleagues just
resting and being away from everyday’s busyness. It was nice having
the free time and just doing things that we like or enjoy doing. It
was nice being taken care of and not having to worry about what’s
next on the agenda. It was nice having that break out of routine. It
was refreshing.
In
that break, i also saw a glimpse of love.
I
noticed this guy. Instantly i knew he was different. His father was
with him and i tried not to stare. Then i met his mother. She turns
out to be the volunteer who live in the home while the caretaker have
her Saturday off. From the short conversation with her, i think she’s
a nice lady. Giving up your weekend to volunteer taking care of a
home is sure something nice somebody nice would do.
I
asked how old is her son. She said 29. I did not asked much about him
then. I think it would have been awkward.
In
the afternoon, I saw the father guiding his son at the porch of the
house. I don’t know what were they doing, prolly having a walk. It
was funny tho to see his arm being straight binded. =)
Anyway,
night time came. While my collegues and i were busy eating and barbecuing, i saw love at work.
For
that brief moment, it was a touching sight to behold. It reminds me
of an unconditional love. A love that does not matter what happens or
happened.
I
saw the father feeding his child of 29 years……..just for that brief
moment….. i saw love at work.
I
try to think what is it like, having to take care of the basic needs
of your own child. I know of a four year old who could dressed
herself. And of course, the other four year old who could eat his own
biscuit. This 29 year old guy, he had to be even prompted and
assisted to hold his own cup. So, can you imagine? Caring for the
basic need of your child for 29 years? Feeding? Clothing? Toileting?
How do they do it?
I’m
guessing it is the unconditional love, a love that does not matter
what happens or happened, it will always be there to love.
I
saw love at work. A father’s love to his child.
I
am blessed! I am so blessed by the joy that a child can give. By the
joy of seeing prayers answered. By the joy of seeing dreams coming
into fulfillment. I am so blessed by seeing God’s will being fulfilled
in His own time. I am so blessed.
It
is a joy of knowing that you are in His will and calling, and seeing the
promises and purposes coming to pass before your very eyes. I am
blessed!
This
child came to the party today. And I praise God! I am overjoyed! It
is really something that I am so happy about that I doubt any of the
other teachers could understand. It was heartwarming seeing him blend
into the crowd of children. It was heartwarming seeing his peers
helping him. It was heartwarming seeing how people reacted to his
‘different’ funny antics. It was heartwarming just seeing him being
whom God has created Him to be.
People
who may not know me, I work fulltime with children. They are the only
motivation that make me travel 3 crazy hours a day to work, even
though I hate being packed up like sardines in the trains. I must
say, my rewards really comes from the satisfaction of serving these
children and seeing their life being transformed. It is trully
amazing to see God in these little ones.
It
is coming to two years now. I remember I used to wonder, why God did
You created them? Which part of You is in them Lord?
Recently
I just realized these verses….
Jesus
heals a man born blind.
John
9:2 “Teacher”, his disciples asked Him. “why was this man born
blind?” was it a result of his own sins or those of his parents?”
John
9:3 “It was not because of his sins or his parent’s sins” Jesus
answered “He was born blind
so the power of God could be seen in him”
So
that the power of God could be seen in him…….
I
realized that these people really need God, and that His power really
could be seen in them. Really, really, really……. so the power of God
could be seen in them…… the power of God in the ‘weak’…. it is
awesome.
There
are a few people whom i am inspired by and really their life do
reflect what is written in the scriptures.
1
Corinth 1:27 “Instead, God deliberately chose things the world
consider foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And
he chose those who are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God
chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all,
and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important,
so that no one can boast in the presence of God.”
1
Corinth 1:31 “The person who wishes to boast, should boast only of
what the Lord has done. “
Who
would have thought that someone who is quadriplegic in a wheelchair,
unable to use her hands could be used by God to travel so many
parts of the world to share her life stories, to preach and to
advocate. Who would have thought that someone born without hands and legs
could be used by God to inspire and to motivate school children,
touching and changing their lives. Who would have thought that
someone who is made disabled by a sickness could be used by God to
start social works to serve the poor and needy. Who would have thought?
These
3 life are of real people. Real people whom I am inspired by and
sometimes in awe and in wonder of the mysteries of God. God can use
anyone, just about anyone who is willing.
I
believe the children whom i serve, God can use them. So many times
their life have touched and blessed me to see the wonders and
goodness of God. I have read and hear of so many testimonies and
stories of parents whom if they have an option, they would still
choose to have their child with special needs in their life. They
can’t think of how life could be any better without their special
needs child.
I
am blessed. I can’t think of how my life would have been any better
without having to meet and serve these children. Trully i am blessed!
http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org
Caged
and bound.
Is
this how life is going to be? All that he knows?
The
headlines of a local Malay Daily caught my eyes today, it brought me
to a stop from the morning madness. It has a picture of a boy and the
title reads “Sebelas tahun kena kurung” - “Eleven years being
caged”.
I
looked at it, I felt the urge to shout the importance to create
awareness of people with special needs and how much more important it
is to help the families involved.
Reading
the boy’s story, i know things can change for better. It can change
for better when people do not fear. It can change for better when
people are aware and knowledgeable about it. It can change for better
when people take an interest and have the know hows. It can change
for better when people can see the hope and potential to the things
they can do. It can change for better, i know it can change for
better.
Reading
story like this, it always brings me back to the visit of a welfare
home in a distant small town. I was very very new in this work then,
it shocked me to see people in cages. I couldn’t believe that such
thing exist in Malaysia. There were cluster of people in different
confined area with grilled gates, in another room three young men
were in their individual ‘cells’. It wasn’t really big, prolly four
feet wide, and six feet long. I remember thinking a rotteweiler or
bull mastiffs would fit nicely into the cage. That was when i
realized, i forgot the faces i was looking at were human. Human.
Another
shelther home that i visited was none the less depressing. Not only
did i saw children tied to chairs, but also pillars within its
compound. I remember giving a child a hug, he was tied to the pillar
upright, eyes bright, hands which held mine tight, beneath the ‘look’
i knew he craved to be loved. I wished I could do more, I knew there
has to be a better way.
You
know how sometimes you hear sermons of making a change for better?
How sometimes you are challenged to change for better be it in your
own life or another person’s life? Being the blessing, knowing that
what you give can never be returned? Want to make a change? Come be a
direct change agent for children with special needs. How much you sow
in today not only influence the child for better, but also the
parents, siblings, relatives, neighbours, friends, and the whole
community. Best of all, it changes you.
Where
i work, i realized it is important to encourage, educate, empower and
put in the right tools for parents to care for their children with
special need. A home is where these children belong to, with their
parents. They deserve every right to be loved and cared for by their
parents. It always encourages me when i see parents working
diligently with their children, and the success stories of how their
children are learning and making progress from strength to strength.
Back
to the welfare homes, those children were in that conditions because
their care-takers did not know how to handle them. They only knew
that the children were too dangerous to be let loose, for fear that
they might hurt themselve or other people. They may bite, hit,
scratch, kick or stranggle. The boy’s parent too have the same fears.
Now
for a short moment….. just try to imagine…… i open my eyes….
i see the bars….. its right in front of my face again. I try to
move, something stoped me at my waist, at my wrist. I look out. I
paced around in my confined area. I look out, i shout just so
somebody could hear me to give me some response. I try banging the
cage, maybe it’ll come loose. I gnawed at the clothe at my waist and
my wrist, its giving me itches and i hate it turning red. I try
screaming maybe somebody will hear me. I paced around again….. i
lay down. I look out again, i shout again just so somebody could
hear me and give me some response. I try banging the cage again,
maybe it’ll come loose. I gnawed again at the clothe at my waist and
my wrist, its giving me itches again and i hate it turning redder. I
try screaming again maybe somebody will hear me.I paced around again
and again….. i lay down again. I look out again and again, i shout
again and again just so somebody could hear me and give me some
response. I try banging the cage again and again, maybe it’ll come
loose. I gnawed again and again at the clothe at my waist and my
wrist, its giving me itches again and again and i hate it turning
redder again and again. I try screaming again and again maybe
somebody will hear me……. day in, day out, sun rise sun set, day
in day out, sun rise, sun set, day in day out, sun rise sun set, day
in day out sun rise sun set, day in say out sun rise sun
set……..364 days, and many more years to come…..i open my
eyes…. i see the bars….. its right in front of my face again. I
try to move, something stoped me at my waist, at my wrist. I look
out. I paced around in my confined area. I look out, i shout just so
somebody could hear me to give me some response. I try banging the
cage, maybe it’ll come loose. I gnawed at the clothe at my waist and
my wrist, its giving me itches and i hate it turning red. I try
screaming maybe somebody will hear me. I paced around again….. i
lay down.
Can
you imagine?….. how did it feel like? Wanna break free? I was just
trying to imagine what could it been like being in the boy’s shoe.
What i wrote was just a fiction.
To
the boy’s story, here’s what the dad say “Jika dia keluar rumah,
dia akan lari jika lihat kami mahu mendapatkannya”. Now imagine you
are the boy. Wouldn’t you wanna break free?
I
believe there is a better way. I believe when people are educated
about special needs, living in cages will be things of the past.
Parents play an extremely important role in caring and upbringing of
their children with special need. They are however not to be alone in
this important task, we the member of society ought to encourage and
cheer them on. With the right heart, the right mind set, the right
attitude, and the right tools, all things are possible. There is no
mountain too high to climb. The climb may be hard and tough, but once
you reach the peak and enjoying the scenery, you know all of the
challenges were worth every bit.
I
believe caged and bound will be changed to free and living to the
fullest!
http://www.hmetro.com.my/Thursday/BeritaUtama/20080417092455/Article
http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/4/17/nation/20977266&sec=nation
I
was at the bank last night wanting to withdraw some money. There i
saw a man, sleeping on the five-foot way, faced down to the floor.
Packets of tissue were in front of him, little plastic bag of
belongings beside him, prosthetic leg stood at the side, crutches
proped to the wall, and packet of rice at the side. I looked at
him…..
Have
you ever wonder why are there people living in the streets?
When
i was younger, once in a while, i would drop some coins or notes into
a begger’s cup. Be it old, crippled, blind, mother and child and so
on…. that was out of sympathy that i did it. Sympathy.
Then
came a time, where i had empathy. Trying to think what it’d be like
to be in their shoes.
Few
years ago i joined some friends to street feeding programme in the
city. The people that i saw there were of varied kinds. Some were
like my grandma’s age, some middle age, and some young ones, prolly
around my age. They would come every saturday for the free food given
out, medical care and the fellowship. As i helped to hand out the
food, i remember feeling sad. I was sad at the young people that i
saw. I was thinking what in the world were the young people living in
street?! Don’t they feel ashamed that i had to hand out food to
them?! They have hands and feets which could work!
Few
years ago, the media started covering stories on ‘beggers’ living in
the streets. One reporter even went undercover, pretended to be a
begger. If i remembered correctly, he collected quite a sum of money
from begging generous Malaysians. Then there were stories where they
were controlled by syndicates who forced them into begging. There
were also real stories where these people are drug addicts.
Few
years ago, i would have easily sympathize and empathize. Yesterday, i
was angry…..i was angry seeing a man sleeping in the streets of
Subang!
While
withdrawing money, i was thinking and asking God what should i do. I
could have harden my heart and think that that guy sleeping in the
street prolly earned more than me milking money out of generous
Malaysians. I got into the car, still asking God if i should do
anything. I really wanted to have driven home.
Jesus
said when you do unto the least of these, you are doing unto me.
Sometimes its hard to wrestle with convictions so i made a turn back
to the man.
I
went to him. He was asleep, i had to wake him up. He jumped and sat
up straight when i said i wanted to buy tissue. I asked him why was
he sleeping in the street. I asked him to go home. I asked him if he
has eaten. I asked him to go home. I asked him to get help from
welfare department. I asked him to go home. I asked him not to sleep
on the five-foot way. I asked him to go home.
He told me he hasn’t been home in 10 years. Used to stay in Sunway,
brother kicked him out of house. Have been living in the street for
10 years. People shoos him away and scolds him. He has eaten dinner.
He hasn’t been home for 10 years.
Throughout
that few minutes, i dunno what went through his head. I told him i’ve
seen him before few years ealier sleeping on the street. Never had
the guts then to confront, yesterday i was just angry to see him
still sleeping in the street. I told him to go home. I told him to go
home. I just told him to go home. Sigh! He had alcohol breathe.
I
find it really ironic, Subang a highly developed residential and
commercial area, also an education hub. People here are mostly
educated, living in the middle income bracket. And yet, there are
still people living in the street!
When
he realized that i wasn’t sympathizing with his sob story, and that i
was serious about him going back home, he wanted to give me change
for the purchase of the tissue paper. I told him to go home.
As
i was driving home, i was just thinking and asking what would Jesus
do?
When
do you start to realize that you are an adult? A grown up?
Late
last year i was reminising my school days a lot. I miss those
carefree Convent days a lot. I had pangs of nostalgia, i had wanted
to live in those moments again. The days of going to tuitions with
friends, staying back at school, doing different projects, having
different parties and going for inter school events. Those days were
fun! We’d chatted, giggled, poked fun, talked about future, checking
out guys. Sometimes we fought, cried, get petty…. i miss those
days!
You
know how when you are in school, some adults will tell you that it is
the best day of your life? I had one uncle telling me that, even the
Lat’s comic says so! But when you are at school, you’d think they
must be joking when they say “student days” are the best. Who
would ever says being a student, having exams and test and homeworks
are the best days of their life? I thought it was a joke at that
time. These grown ups don’t know what they are talking about.
Anyway,
coming to the present time… next year will be the 10th
year i’ve graduated from high school. I never really realized i’ll
come to this day, coming to reflect the milestone of it.
Journey
out of high school was not easy, in fact it was really challeging.
Lots of things changed. I’m no longer in Muar, my friends are all
scattered living and pursuing their own lifes. College days, tho i
had good times with my college buddies, movies and hanging out, there
were also culture shocks and depressing moments. But even then, those
were the days when i found JESUS, my GOD. (made me wished i’d known
HIM earlier)
After
four years of higher education, its off to the working world. The
real world….. this is life itself…. wat you choose it to be.
Trying
to calculate, i think i’ve prolly worked four years? And its only
FOUR years!!! Imagine the many more ahead…. gosh! Its daunting!
It’s gonna be the rest of my life till i retire at 70 maybe? =)
Anyway,
what i wanna say is, its true. Its true what they said. “Student
days” are the best days of life. I find that so very true, very
very true. I am even starting to tell my student friends. Being an
aunty now… -_-” working friends, i don’t think i need to
elaborate.
So,
when did i realized i’m a grown up? =) it dawned unto me when i could
just go ahead with last minute planned road trips. Having the
independence, knowing i’m capable to making the right decisions in
life, knowing that i am acocuntable, knowing that i could be trusted,
knowing that i could take care of myself. It suddenly made me realize
i don’t need my mommy to do what i need to do. You know?
So
yeah, being a 25 year old now, i’ve finally come to accept that i am
an adult. Its not too early, its not too late. =D
You can hammer both your
feet to the cross, you can hammer your left hand to the cross…..
who hammer your remaining hand to the cross?
As i grow older in age, i
learn more about myself and the different people around me. Have you
ever noticed how people are sometimes so different from you?
Gosh!….. I hate it when people tell me that not everyone is like
me…..(trust me, I do. I have far too many people telling me that.)
Kinda thank God also that not everyone is like me, imagine, the
thousands of Jecys around, and the Raysons scream! heheheh…. making
people do work, getting things in order, efficiency is the rule, claw
up some people, save the children, go rock climbing! Actually….. it
wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all….. 
Anyway, i’ve been
wondering, do people learn about themselve more than they try to make
people to be like them? You know how sometimes you wish some people
would change, and yet each time you try to make them change, it’s
still the same? Kinda frustrating…..
Only in the past year i
began to discover and realize the different personalities that exist.
Not that i never noticed before, but it just didn’t dawned unto me
till then, that it is important to realize the different
personalities that exist and respect it. You better do! So you’ll
stop wondering why you keep knocking into walls.
Drawing to my colourful
working life, out of comfort of things familiar to me, I began
noticing the different personalities. There opened my life to another
world, a world of learning human behaviour and respecting it. From
there, I learn about the people around me. The people that I know,
the people that I spend time with, the people that I hang out with,
the people that I chat with….they are all different from me one way
or another. Its kinda interesting when you take time and think about
it. God makes us all unique, and yet each one us are made in His
image.
Yesterday I took a
personality test in Facebook. Here’s what it says about my
personality…….
“The determined realist
likes to bear responsibility and welcomes challenges. She is a
stable, reliable person. External contacts are very important to her;
she mixes well and is very active. She is an excellent organiser and
is very happy when things are done correctly and punctually; she can
quickly react impatiently if others are not as conscientious, orderly
and dutiful as she is. She prefers structured work which produces
visible results quickly to abstract, long-drawn-out processes. She
has no problem with routine as long as it serves efficiency. However,
she very much dislikes unexpected and unpredictable occurrences which
mess up her careful plans. Once she has committed herself to a cause
she does this with dedication and is willing to make considerable
sacrifices for it.
The determined realist does not avoid
conflicts and criticism but faces up to them and looks for solutions.
As she has a keen eye for the errors and shortcomings of others and
is often quick at expressing criticism, she sometimes rubs people up
the wrong way especially when she loses her temper and jumps to
conclusions. Due to her marked sense of justice she is quickly
willing to correct herself and never takes offence if someone speaks
to her frankly. You do not have to seek hidden motives with her; you
always know where you are. The determined realist is often found in
executive positions as she combines commitment, competence and the
ability to assert herself. In her spare time, she often also accepts
responsibility in clubs and other institutions.
Traditions
rate highly with the determined realist. She attends every family
event and never forgets a birthday or wedding anniversary. Family and
friends are very important to her. With her open, communicative
manner, she finds it easy to get to know people and has a large
circle of friends and acquaintances. She is never superficial, but a
reliable and loyal friend who is always there when she is needed. The
determined realist takes her relationships very seriously - she
dreams of finding a partner for life. In a relationship, she seeks
above all stability and loyalty and here, too, she is willing to
invest a lot in a harmonious togetherness. She masters crises or
difficult phases with composure; she would never think of breaking a
promise given. As a partner, one can always rely on her support “
I find it almost 90% true
of what I read about my personality. I tested it out with some people
i know and i began to see why i just somehow couldn’t reach certain
people…. my guess is that we’re just different. Positives and
positives ends of magnets just won’t stick. That kinda gave me
conclusion to some things.
Anyways, yay! =) so yea,
anybody out there reading this page, please realize that i am
different from you. Please have some grace on me, when i seem to be
difficult or hard sometimes. =D Slackers be warned!
Trying to conclude this
entry, what does my personality have to do with the cross beginning?
Well…. i found out
dying to self is easy for me sometimes. I mean, I’ll just have work
at giving up on certain things in life. I’ll just have to deal with
my own being and may God’s grace help me. Hammering the last hand
onto the cross…. it is not you who hammer your own hand. You pass
it on to someone else to do the last work. Make sense?
I
never knew they could bring me such joy.
They
are back in the centre after a month long holiday break. Almost all
of them settled back into routine rather well. It is so good having
them around again. I found out that if it wasn’t for them, i wouldn’t
have travel such a distance, not even for any money paying job.
Having
been with them about a year and half now, i’ve grown accustom to
their behaviours and known them for who they are. They are a funny
bunch of kids, and i love them for that! At the end of each day, i’ll
have a smile of contentment that they made my day. Reflecting on the
funny moments at the centre, of how the child reacted or behaved,
their antics and ’silliness’, their cuteness and funniness, hehehe…
their “it is so them” moments.
I
especially love the schooling kids. They are the older group ranging
from 7 to 11 years. Each of the children have their own unique
personality. Remember how i was almost traumatised my the two
’screamin-at-the-top-of-their-lungs’ tantrum throwing kids at my
first week of work? They have the most powerful high pitched scream
which could raise any dead person…. Lazarus…..or at least my bulu
roma.
Anyway,
those two are just funny once you know why they behave such a way.
You could almost predict and see certain things coming from them,
given a set of conditions. Not that i’m already expert of them, but
i’ve come to know their personalities. Just last tues i had to put up
with a boy whining pitch high at my ears. He just refused to get his
work done and kept trying to get off task. Would you believe in the
45 minutes of study time, i’ve only managed to get him write his
name. And that’s all?!! He’s quite smart in a sense trying to
manipulate the adults with his threats of deafening cries thinking we
would give in to his whimps and fancies. Even got into self injuring
behaviour, of which i had two stinging tight slaps from, on my hand.
Ouch! Tough battle, but lets see who will win. We’ve got our ear
plugs ready~! Hehehe…..
And
today, i was trying not to laugh as a girl unwillingly does her
couting activities. I dunno why, but she suddenly burst out crying
when she saw the counting worksheet. Prolly she ‘misses’ them, coz
she hasn’t been doing the worksheet in a long time or she was just
complaining while crying ‘why in the world am i doing this again?’ It
was a funny sight looking at her, coz she doesn’t know how to
verbally complain that she don’t wanna do it, but she had to cry it
out with tears and all. A friend of hers was so cute, he got a tissue
box to her table and tell her ‘no crying’. I never knew he could be
so sensitive and so aware of his social cues.
I
love the fact that i now know the children better and that i’m more
confident in handling them. I remember how i used to be scared and
not knowing what to do. But yea, they turn out to be children after
all. They could be cheeky, naughty, rebellious, loving, innocent,
blur, fun and all.
I
like to see how the children progress on their academic development,
from not knowing how to write their name to writing new words now.
From not knowing how to handle scissors to doing cutting and paste
activities. From counting to doing addition. It gives me a sense of
satisfaction. =)
I
also like the behaviour management. From making whinny irritating
sound to knowing how to say “i want rest”. From being a whirlwind
of tornado as soon as he steps into the centre to a boy who could sit
down and read and greets you “hi” as soon as he steps into the
centre. From a shy ‘hide-my-face-in-the-pillow’ to telling me about
her Sabah holiday. It is a joy of knowing you are at the right place.
=)
I
would love to be a friend to these children. Playing and join in
their little games. But i also have to remember that i am a teacher,
to be the role model, to teach the right stuffs and to be of sound
mind!
Many
people, when i tell them what i do, they think i must have lots of
patience and love. Well, i guess having those help, and i think i do
have what it takes. But what i always tell them is, “Having a good
sense of humour helps a lot. You must know how to laugh”.
Learning
how to laugh has help me cope with my work. Many times i tell people
if i don’t laugh, i would have quit long time ago! (Joking! That’s
not the deciding factor, God leads me.) Anyway, it’s good to laugh
things off, even when the kids drives you up the wall or when you
just feel like flushing him down the toilet, or mince him into the
blender and make ‘char-siew pau’ or tie him to the ceiling fan and
sping him round and round. Sadistic? Yea, very!
See,
why i say you have to have a good sense of humour? If you don’t you
might just really wanna commit those acts that i mentioned. Last year
i had such horrid thoughts in my head, that i couldn’t believe i
could have thought those thoughts. It was then i realised how real
child abuse could happen to these children. They really do test your
patience, some purposefully, some just being who they are.
Patience,
love and all are my part to work on. What these children are rubbing
into me, hopefully make me better person. I think they rub on more to
me than i on them. I realized after a while of working with them my
communications skills had gone down the drain. Sentence structure and
intelligent talk are out of the window. For a moment i just talking
in two or three words sentence. Anyways, people who do come and talk
to me, please have something intelligent to talk about. Current
affairs, general knowledge, bible……
Many
of times i use to wonder and still wonder why such children exist. I
ask God “So which part of You are in them Lord?” for He made all
of us in His own image. I wonder….. i dunno which part of Him are
in them. Humour maybe? ‘coz i find them funny. =) i don’t have the
answer, but i have the faith that i’ll see them in heaven. I guess
these are God’s special children. He knew them before they were even
form in their mother’s womb, He knows each one by name and the number
of hairs on their head. God made them, he made them special just like
you and me.
My Wish – Rascal Flatts
I hope that days come easy and moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you’re faced with a choice, and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin’ till you find the window
If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
More then anything, more then anything
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it
To your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small
You never need to carry more then you can hold
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too
Yeah, this, is my wish
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget
All the ones who love you, in the place you left
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you find God’s grace, in every mistake
And you always give more then you take
Oh More then anything, Yeah, and more then anything
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it
To your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small
You never need to carry more then you can hold
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too
Yeah, this, is my wish
Today I had the privilege of observing and working with a group of young adults with learning disabilities. I must say it was a good experience and it helped me look further ahead in my work….
A year back someone dear to me asked what is your success. What do you see in your future? Have you thought about your future? Don’t you want to own a house? Car? What about your children’s education? Have you ever thought of it? And so on and on the questions played like a broken record.
It’s been a year! Praise God I made it passed the year! In the beginning it was very hard. Just the traveling would kill me; often I’ll be dead tired when I step back home. At times I would also oversleep. Then worst of worst are the things that happen during traveling. I’ve endured the consistently late trains; jam packed platform, sardine trains, flooded stations and even almost fire on carriage. My life is just so happening…… I used to get so depressed when things like that happen. Even the haze could get me down. And I get continuous bouts of coughs and mucouses from the children. Yea, that’s when I thought everything was against me, and maybe I made a mistake for being so stubborn for the things I believe God had led me to do. Maybe I was wrong, or maybe I did not hear right.
Anyway, a friend brought a revelation that kinda set me free from these thoughts. Thank God for good friends! What he said made sense. It’s not the first time trains have problems, it has always been like that, even if I don’t commute in them. The haze has been going on every year!! What makes me so special to think the haze got to be sent to stop me from doing whatever I’m doing? Yea…. Made sense….. =) and, I just need to take care of my health la.
Praise God that He is gracious, He had sustained me, praise God for His strength.
The children.
This month, the centre celebrated its 10th anniversary. I am glad to be part of it. The children had opportunity to perform on stage, after spending months in practicing. It was fun doing the whole thing with them. I must say, without the hard work put in, don’t expect sweet results. But then again, it also depends on what the child might be up to on that day. It’s really kinda exciting and helps keep people on their toes. Ahh… challenges that keeps your mind working on its feet. Praise God for such wisdom that He gives.
Over the year, I’ve grown fond to the children. I even have a few favorites. No, I don’t show partiality. I’ve got this child who calls me by my name, omitting the word “teacher”, like as if calling a friend. Yea, seriously like as if an old buddy would call me. Hehehe… it wasn’t easy when I first taught him, he challenged my authority, but I guess over time, I’ve proven myself and earned the respect from him. Maybe I’m his favorite teacher too.
This is a story of another boy. When I met him last year, he is a vision of a whirlwind of storm packed into a body of 3 year old. The moment he enters the centre, all fury of a ferocious tornado spun around the centre, till the moment he leaves. Creating havoc, drowning all senses, lasting prolly for an hour half. Okay, maybe I’m making it look dramatic, but it really did felt that way. The teachers would have to put up a fight just to get him to sit down; I think I got my hair pulled too! hahaha…. Those were the days of wrestling with the child; besides having to bear with his endless whining and annoying cries.
Today when I look at him, I couldn’t believe in the vast improvement that he has made. I am just so impressed that he is communicating, reading, and his nonsense behaviours had been tamed. He’s got this cheeky face, and twinkle in his eyes; I see so much potential in him to learn many more things. From thinking “why am I assigned to teach him again?”, I now look forward to teaching him. It’s fun!
It’s just so wonderful seeing the progress of the children, knowing that they have learnt and achieve milestones. I was ecstatic when my girl actually knew how to write her own name and could cut proper circle out on paper. I was touched when I hear a boy now starting to speak, from not being vocal for the past 6 years. I am impressed to see a 4 year old girl walking compared to when she first came in last year, she was crawling on all fours. Achievements like these make me proud of what I do. It ain’t little, it’s significant.
Being at the work base today, it helped me see further into the future. It reminds me that the children won’t be children forever, they too will grow up. I look at what the young adults were doing; I couldn’t help believe that they were also little children. I wonder what kinda challenges they gave their teachers. I wonder if they threw tamper tantrums like what some of my kids are doing. I wonder if they had behaviour problem, which sometime makes me feel like hanging the kids upside down. I wonder if my children would grow up to be like the fine young adults I saw today…….
As I observe them today, I just felt so privilege to be there. I don’t think I can meet and socialize with them in the society; they’ll probably be one of the oddballs that people avoid. Besides, how would you react when you see one in the sea of strangers? You prolly wouldn’t care less, who talks to strangers anyway. So yea, it’s a privilege for me to meet them. Like the children, I am impressed with the capabilities the young adults shown. My children will learn those skills. Ordering their own meal, paying, responsible for their own work, time management, clearing and cleaning, and even exercising leadership qualities. I especially love what I saw, peer supervision. A peer guiding another who is slower, it’s just an awesome sight to me. It made me forget they had learning difficulties.
Last year, I had a chance to visit a few centre and homes. I got to see the best of best and also the ugly side of the work. In the best of the ones I saw, the centre had sheltered production workshop, packaging socks, quilting, simulated housekeeping, and even nursery. In the worst that I saw…… it was heartbreaking. People were tied to pillars, chair, and some caged…. The caged ones broke my heart; I couldn’t believe seeing such thing. It’s so easy to forget that they were human made in the image of God. The reason for these bondages is that they were deemed violent; therefore that’s the best solution to the problem. Sigh!
From the exposure trip, I see even more important awareness and education are needed for the parents and even the public. Many of times, it seems like a doom sentence to have a child with special needs. From what I see among the parents that I work with, I see the love and hard work that they put in, I truly admire their strength. I know of this petite mom whom all three children have learning disabilities. I salute her courage and strength.
Know what? It’s not all gloomy to have a special need child, though I may not be in the right position to say this. But from the many stories that I’ve read and lives that I’ve seen, parent couldn’t imagine their life without that special child. Their own special child has enriched them even more than they could imagine. I must say, it’s not only the child that is special; it’s the parent’s love and dedication that makes all the difference.
Doing what I’m doing today, I can say my life have been enriched by this group of people. In the short one year, I’ve learnt so much and experience so much. And I am no longer afraid of crying babies! hehehe….
So what’s my success?……Like what I’ve told the dear person, my success is not in owning the big bungalow or driving a big car. I may not even earn the millions or wear the branded clothes. My success is knowing that the child has learnt and the parents being thankful that somebody cared to teach.
My success? I know I had not wasted my time.
